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maihero

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I want to radiate love, light, strength, warmth and hornines..

I want to radiate love, light, strength, warmth and horniness. I can’t do that while dating someone who make me feel like the ugliest person in the world. If you want me to stop seeing you as a loser then stop acting like one, wasting the sexiest years of my life doing bare minimum. I need people who make me feel attractive, loved, respected, valued and protected. People who want to be my biggest fan and think it would be easy, fun and hot to help and support me. Why are you making our life more difficult instead of easier? I shouldn’t have to pull teeth to get 1 b/g video a YEAR. Why are you making me endure the absolutely most stressful and embarrassing chapters of my life? We could make a b/g video every night and you’re making me fight you for 1 cloverfield quality video a year. I can’t live like this anymore. I’m even coping by being radical sometimes. I don’t want to be nuts anymore trying to make it work with someone who clearly doesn’t value or appreciate me. You are the worst person to do this with. You are the worst person a sex worker could do this with. You are the worst cheerleader a content creator could ever have. I never want to put on make up or cute outfits anymore from dating you. You won’t give me a real birthday, anniversary, vacation or even a movie date. You can’t call yourself my boyfriend if you won’t even take me on a date. I’m sick of helping you while you do bare minimum. I want a real man. Or woman. You have me miserable, crying, writing essays on the internet and going to strangers to feel beautiful and valuable. This isn’t right. How stupid can you be? How stupid have I been? I can’t afford being with a loser that isn’t good for my mental or emotional health. You won’t take this seriously or support me so I can make enough to get a car or a house with a yard. Why in the world would I want this? I feel so dumb for enduring for as long as I have; thinking I can love you out of whatever bs you’ve been stuck in. I can’t carry everything by myself anymore. Just help out. Stop fighting with me and giving me more tasks like telling me to write you a list and telling me how I can do things better instead of getting off your flat ass and just asking “how can I help?, “ how can I make your day easier?” “What can I do or contribute to make you feel ready to tackle the day?” I know I’m messy. Asking you to contribute time towards laundry, dishes and tidying while I’m scrambling to mentally feel gigantic enough to handle going live so I can talk to 100 people naked isn’t supposed to be punishment. If that’s too much for you then you have to move aside so someone who can handle some housework or social media promotion can help and chill me out. You act like my job is easy and nothing. It’s not. It’s a real job. I won’t take care of someone who’s taking advantage of me and makes me feel small. This isn’t fun, profitable, positive, adventurous or sexy with you. You won’t even take 5 minutes a day to record me up and down for Snapchats. You won’t even take 5 seconds to tell me good morning or tell me I’m beautiful. So what is the point? What am I staying for and why in the world should I take care of you? The grown idiot who can’t even do the dishes after I cook so I can stream during prime time and get us a Disney vacation? Are you a fucking moron??? You’re not worth this hell you’ve put me in. I am the one that’s out of your league. Not the other way around, you fucking worthless, ugly, old, cheap, pathetic, useless pos. I need more than someone who grabs water and tp from Costco and calls it a day. I need more than someone who spends an hour on housework every two weeks. Taking out the trash and eating all my food is not enough. I need more than one b/g video a year. You need to step up or get tf out of the way. I need someone willing to zoom into my bhole so we can try to reach the top 0.000001 percent while I still look like my photos. Wtf are you doing? Are you waiting till I’m 50 to take photos of me? Go fuck yourself. You should want to be good enough. You should be able to get your cock hard so I can try to make $500 doing something most girls do for free. I can’t change you so I have to leave. I have given you so much and you’ve barely given me anything and have the audacity to paint me as the bad guy. Go do life alone then. Cuz I’m not taking it anymore. I don’t need whatever this has been with you. I keep waiting for you to make this worth it, to make effort, to do better and you won’t. I have no choice but to leave you before this all falls apart because Ive been dumb enough to keep trying to love someone who clearly doesn’t love me. I am worth loving. You’re the one who isn’t and hasn’t been. I can’t do this sht with you anymore. You are my biggest hater, biggest drain and worst fan. There is no reason for me to stay. I don’t want to be miserable with you anymore. I want and deserve to be happy. You’re a bitch. Bye. Go have that married woman you’re sleeping with help you with your bills cuz I don’t want to do it anymore. I wish that I didn’t love you while you clearly have no capacity to love me.

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